When a mother faces the unthinkable, the strength she musters becomes a beacon for us all. My friend Taylor shares the harrowing tale of her son Phoenix's battle with cancer, setting the stage for a broader conversation on the resilience required of families when confronted by a child's potential health crisis. We delve into the emotional aftermath of a negative MRI scan, the difficult medical decisions to be made, and how the specter of serious illness can cast long shadows on a family's psyche. Taylor's openness provides a window into the courage it takes to navigate such a journey, and her story is sure to resonate with anyone who has faced the trials of parenthood.
Amid personal reflection and cultural discourse, we traverse the complex terrain of gender dynamics and societal expectations. The ripple effects of a TikTok trend underscore the "man or bear" debate, leading to sharper dialogues about women's safety, the pressure on men to adopt new roles, and the insidious reach of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. We don't shy away from the discomforts these topics may bring; instead, we embrace them, acknowledging that our shared experiences are intertwined with larger cultural shifts that directly impact how we navigate the world as men and women.
In a critical examination of the education system, we compare school buses in Asheville to prison transport, igniting a passionate debate on the state of public education and alternative learning options. My own search for a teaching position serves as a springboard to discuss how we might reimagine education to benefit our youth. As our dialogue unfolds, we consider the transformative potential of community-oriented learning environments and the role they may play in cultivating self-sufficient local communities. Join us for this thought-provoking episode that aims to connect the dots between personal struggles and societal challenges.
When a mother faces the unthinkable, the strength she musters becomes a beacon for us all. My friend Taylor shares the harrowing tale of her son Phoenix's battle with cancer, setting the stage for a broader conversation on the resilience required of families when confronted by a child's potential health crisis. We delve into the emotional aftermath of a negative MRI scan, the difficult medical decisions to be made, and how the specter of serious illness can cast long shadows on a family's psyche. Taylor's openness provides a window into the courage it takes to navigate such a journey, and her story is sure to resonate with anyone who has faced the trials of parenthood.
Amid personal reflection and cultural discourse, we traverse the complex terrain of gender dynamics and societal expectations. The ripple effects of a TikTok trend underscore the "man or bear" debate, leading to sharper dialogues about women's safety, the pressure on men to adopt new roles, and the insidious reach of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. We don't shy away from the discomforts these topics may bring; instead, we embrace them, acknowledging that our shared experiences are intertwined with larger cultural shifts that directly impact how we navigate the world as men and women.
In a critical examination of the education system, we compare school buses in Asheville to prison transport, igniting a passionate debate on the state of public education and alternative learning options. My own search for a teaching position serves as a springboard to discuss how we might reimagine education to benefit our youth. As our dialogue unfolds, we consider the transformative potential of community-oriented learning environments and the role they may play in cultivating self-sufficient local communities. Join us for this thought-provoking episode that aims to connect the dots between personal struggles and societal challenges.
Well, good morning everyone and welcome to this morning's live stream. This is Patti, with. Patti Talks Too Much and we're about to jump into the live stream conversation with my good friends Anoki and Taylor. We do this every Saturday. We are three ordinary women talking about what's going on in our lives and what's going on in the world, and this morning it just turns out that, because of a technical issue, the beginning of our recording was cut off, so I'm jumping in to fill in. We had introduced ourselves and we also had thanked the people who are joining us from around the world, so we want to say a special hello to the folks in Japan and Iceland and different parts of North America and Europe who have been popping in to listen in on our conversation.
Speaker 2:As always, we hope that you find some value in listening into our conversations about what's going on in our lives, what's going on in the world and how we can make heads or tails of what's happening with all of that, and also to support each other and push each other to always be moving forward, to thinking of things and seeing things in more and more expansive ways. So, once again, thanks for joining us and we're going to jump right into this Now. The live stream picks up at the moment, where Taylor is sharing that her son, Phoenix, who is eight and a cancer survivor, had to go in for an MRI of his brain. The doctors were looking for possible tumors and, of course, this was a pretty traumatic event this past week. So we're joining the conversation as Taylor is talking about what this was like for her, for Phoenix and for the entire family. So thank you for joining us and we're going to jump right into this.
Speaker 3:Because my son is a cancer patient and I need this information for the benefit of my life, my family's life. We need to know. So, anyways, I got the results yesterday afternoon, which stated that there was no tumors found, which, of course, is wonderful news. Everything that I read because I consider myself to be able to read radiology reports now yeah, You're an expert, now you could be an x-ray tech. I mean, I could definitely read a radiology report. Hello little ladybug, hello ladybug.
Speaker 2:We have a visitor.
Speaker 3:Ladybug medicine Come hang with us. So yeah, all is well in the world of Phoenix. Definite positive, it's really I mean that was a terrible scare. My nervous system is still in freeze flight, all of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I mean, you operate so close to the edge anyway in terms of your adrenals and in terms of like that trigger, like fight or you're. You're that close and I think that that's been true for you for years, since the original diagnosis with feet. Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like I think you know you never went back to something that looks like well, not well, it's like what is normalcy, yeah no, your whole normal changed after the original and so I guess you don't realize. It was almost like it was like being drafted back into war. Yeah, when you thought you were a veteran right, and all of a sudden I was, I was plopped back into a trench. I mean, it's the only thing. The other terminology is interesting. It's a perfect thing.
Speaker 1:The other terminology is interesting. It's a perfect technology.
Speaker 3:Something.
Speaker 3:I wanted to talk about was comparing it to being chased by a bear up a mountain. And when you get to the top of the mountain, you can't escape the bear. Right, you've got to fight the bear and somehow get back down the mountain and however that looks and however you come back down the mountain is how you come back down the mountain. And however that looks and however you come back down the mountain is how you come back down the mountain. Sometimes we come back down the mountain scarred and affected, but alive. Sometimes we don't make it down the mountain. Yeah, phoenix made it down the mountain. He survived his bear attack. You know what? However, you want, whatever analogy you want to use, but it felt like we were right back there for a moment.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, um, sorry yeah, um yeah what that does and also what it does to the whole family, like how it affects because, like phoenix obviously knew I mean, even if you didn't tell him everything he knew that there was something going on. If they're putting him in this, you know, through this procedure, like he knew, and that probably triggered something for him and then, of course, for for your husband, pat, and for you know the boys you know PJ and Peyton. You know it probably triggered everyone in the family.
Speaker 3:You know that. Said that it felt like he was living a nightmare when he was inside the MRI machine and that absolutely broke my heart. Yeah, Usually I have him sedated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was wondering about that.
Speaker 3:My child has been sedated so many times in his lifetime that at some point that becomes risky too. Like he's, he's been sedated more than most people have in their entire lives and his eight years. So it's like if I can not have them sedated for a procedure that shouldn't have sedation, I'm going to do it. Um as long as it's okay with his mental health. Yeah, um, this was cutting it close.
Speaker 2:Yeah definitely Um yeah it's a rock and rock and hard place decision.
Speaker 3:Yeah, post, I probably would have had him sedated, but, um, all as well, and we can move forward. He'll be getting a looper on to stop his um, puberty. So we'll be taking, we'll be taking shots to, you know, hinder his growth. His bones are two years older than he is, so they just want to stop it where it is, just completely, freeze him, essentially Good morning, and then, you know, when his body is ready, they'll kind of wean him off of that and he'll be able to start puberty normally He'll be able to go full blown into puberty.
Speaker 2:This boy has been wanting to get into puberty since he was two years old. Yeah, you are going to have a monster on your hands when he actually is allowed to go full throttle into puberty.
Speaker 3:Thankfully, I've already been through two teenagers, so I can kind of gauge where that'll put me you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I just kind of wonder what that's going to be like when he's finally um a lot. You know his body is allowed to you know, go into puberty and all those hormones are going, you know, and like whoa, I wonder, well wonder, what puberty is going to be like for phoenix I try and explain that to his older brothers.
Speaker 3:Like he mentally is not his age, right, he mentally thinks and feels older than he is. So when he's not included in the conversation or when he's brushed off, you know, like you're just the eight year old, you don't. It makes him feel, you know, inferior because he doesn't feel like he's not the eight year old.
Speaker 3:In his head he doesn't feel like that. But I'm really grateful because he has two big brothers that are super understanding and able to kind of gauge where his mood is and know what he needs, and I'm just really grateful that my boys are so close and they're there for each other the way that they are.
Speaker 2:That's huge, that's huge.
Speaker 3:And this whole bear thing. It's really funny because here I am raising four boys and who do I want them to become? You know, um, and and for everybody who doesn't, we're. I'm referring to this analogy that's been used on the internet and kind of went viral about it totally went viral women being in the forest and would you rather be, you know, in the forest with a bear or with a man?
Speaker 3:Um, and immediately I'm like just give me the bear. But looking deeper into that, um, I had read about this, this uh, spiritual circle, uh, that one of my friends was in was a Facebook friend, but it was a really interesting insight. So she's sitting at a table. They had just had some sort of workshop and there were men who had really done the work sitting at the table. Gives me goosebumps. Men who had really done the spiritual work are sitting at this table with these women, and when all of the women said, oh, I picked the bear, these men immediately felt like they were the ones unsafe at the table, because women can become very savage when they feel unsafe. You know, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, we are.
Speaker 2:I mean, they don't they don't say mama bear for nothing you know like you talk about a woman who's protecting her family and her young. They could have said mama anything, but they say mama bear. They say mama bear, because we're, you know unstoppable, yeah, dangerous force to be reckoned with Very dangerous yeah.
Speaker 3:So it made these men feel, like you know how, they'd rather be with a bear than a woman, because, you know, the woman at the table became, you know, so overprotective and somewhat vicious. And I just think it's interesting. I immediately think a bear, I'd rather be with a bear. But I think about these kids, these boys I'm raising to be men who could be the man in the forest Right, and how would I want them seen? Because I'm trying to raise protectors and guides, right? I'm trying to raise men who are aware that women deserve a certain level of respect and care. So how is it that I would say I'd rather be with a bear? I feel like I'm selling my own children short.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think it's so much about your children but about kind of this reality raising awareness about what other men expect from your children, because they've already existed.
Speaker 1:Or the normalization of you know all the the hyper-sexualization. Or just like listening to any music nowadays, you know, like, and trying to like, find a song that doesn't have anything. It's not saying you know they're not good songs, you know, but there are other things to sing about, and if that's all you focus on, then that's how people feel. Like you know, and and and there has. You know, like, like. I have a son too and I want the best for him, but I want him to also know that the men that came before him there were some that were good, but there were some that were bad, that were good but there were some that were bad yeah and to know how to be different from the ones that were bad.
Speaker 1:You know and understand at the same time that when people are raising awareness that it's not a personal attack to anyone, it's a preventative measure to stop people from acting without thinking. You know, because acting, you know empathy and without care or concern, you know is is, you know, innocent but also murderous. You know it's a two way street. You know and and and part of it is ignorance. You know and and you know. If you don't know, you don't know. I didn't know, they didn't want this or I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:You know how many times have we heard those excuses. You know, or you know older men saying you know this is what you want. You know, and then you know there's a line on both sides want you know and then, and then you know there's there's.
Speaker 1:There's a a line on both sides, you know yeah and then it's hard when you can't even trust the men in your own family, like you can't even trust the people that are in your pack or your, you know they need to know why you know you don't feel comfortable around this family member or that person, or what people did and how it made you feel, so that they know that they don't want to be that person you know, and in a world that's so full of that, you know, like to have empathy and care for those people that don't have the knowledge that they do.
Speaker 1:You have to tell people in order for people to know there's a problem. But right now, if we're looking at scales and weighted justice or whatever, women have really eaten it for a long time all of it, there's a lot. I'm not necessarily a feminist, but I am a woman and I do care about my rights, you know, and I do want to stand up and say hey, you know I'm important and you know everybody is important. You know I'm not just here to procreate. You know I'm not just here for other people's pleasure, for you know the existence of other people to be happy, you know.
Speaker 1:And then it not matter what happens to me at all. You know it's not my job to to take on. You know everything all the time, you know. But but you know that you know like there's that song right along with the bear movement, was that song Labor? Have you heard that song? You should. You should look it up like, because like it is, I mean just type, type labor into tiktok and see, like all the people that are, you know, singing along to it.
Speaker 1:You know, like but but um, that came out like right along with the bear thing, you know. And then I've had a couple of friends you know that that interacted with bears and were afraid of the bear, you know. And then I had a couple of friends that you know turned around and yelled, hey bear. And the bear stopped and turned around and walked away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I mean.
Speaker 1:So there's, you know there's. Everything has two sides, everything has two sides, and I don't think that we should look too much in either direction, but I think that we should look at the whole big fucking picture you know, I'm like like like there are whole countries that are just like we're not gonna have kids anymore. Nope, we don't want to talk to the men, we're not even going to socialize with the men. We're going to segregate, like let's segregate via sexes, you know.
Speaker 2:And how is that a solution? They're doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, their birth rates are dropping, but they're voting themselves to their own point of extinction. You know, exactly dropping, but they're reporting themselves to their own point of extinction.
Speaker 1:You know exactly, but like the whole bear thing came about because of what's going on over there in in korea. You know, I mean that's a big deal. You know like there's a lot of people and in new zealand and everything too. But you know you're at a point. You know like, yeah, are you? Are you? Are you a flower, you know, that has a purpose, that's feeding you know the earth to share that purpose, or are you a flower that's, you know, toxic and destroying all the plants and wildlife and everything around you? You know, are you an invasive?
Speaker 3:species. Yeah, are you a?
Speaker 1:cichlid or a bat are you kudzu right? Now, like, like you know, like I mean, everything is great with a purpose and with balance, but anything out of balance is, is you know?
Speaker 2:not good. Well, exactly, and I think that that's what really, what it comes down to, I think women. The bottom line for women is that we need to feel safe in the world. And what is it going to take for women generally to feel safe in the world? And right now, the way that women, you know, mostly feel safe in the world is if they're partnered with someone who can protect them. Most women need the protection of a man in their lives and I know that that doesn't sound very feminist and it probably isn't, but most, but most women, I mean, and I know, and I'm a woman out there in the world on my own, and let me tell you, it's tough. It's tough especially as we get older.
Speaker 2:It ain't easy and I'm someone and I was sharing this the other day I'm someone who's really independent and I'm brave, I'm a very brave person, but let me be a woman that stands, and yeah, but let me tell you something, taylor my bravery gets challenged and so I'm saying this is coming from a woman who's been almost pathologically independent in my life, and that's because of family history and all of that which is unfortunate and blah, blah, blah, like and courageous. I'll do courageous things, like packing up my car and moving to another state by myself. You know, like who the fuck you know, but like. So things like that, that that's courageous. But let me tell you something my courageousness gets challenged every single day.
Speaker 2:It's hard, especially as we get older, you know, to be out in the world on our own. You do feel increasingly vulnerable. So I do think that part of the bringing things into balance is bringing the relationship, you know, obviously, between men and women into balance. I don't think that we're going to feel any safer with a bunch of soy boys running around like that's not, they're not, they're not going to make the world a safer place but unfortunately women have driven that soy boys.
Speaker 2:You can blow on them and they'll fall over. There's room at the table.
Speaker 1:As a woman.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to feel safer in the world with someone like that, like if something actually came that was dangerous, he would run before me. I feel bad for them because they believe that that's what they needed to do to be more acceptable to women. But the thing is, is women look at them and they're like, um, no, you know so. So men are have been put in this really interesting position because it's like, oh, I have to be more feminized. And then when they get more feminized, women are like, no, I don't think so, but women kind of drove that culturally, and so I think men, you know, in the younger generations I think, are really really in a tough spot. And so then you have that going on and you have what's happening with women and we have become more out of balance than even we were in the 50s, when everybody like that oh, we were so backwards then, but look at how out of balance we are now now you have, masculinity has has hit a point where now it's becoming something different.
Speaker 2:Define that what kind of masculinity is?
Speaker 3:that we've got a power tipping right. Toxic masculinity looks a lot like control. It looks a lot like physical, you know um abuse, or mental abuse, or verbal abuse, in terms of you know what men expect from a woman so physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse that can happen from both sides, though.
Speaker 2:Can it absolutely can so we have toxic. So. So if it happens and it's a man, then it's toxic masculinity.
Speaker 1:And what about happening? Because of the man's hatred for the woman being a woman and him thinking that she's lesser than him, or is it, you know? Like, like that's.
Speaker 3:I don't. Is it an ideology?
Speaker 1:That's what Taylor is trying to say. She's trying to say basically it's it's someone overpowering being the opposite sex, just just, uh, just to overpower them.
Speaker 1:It's just the total domination of a a man to a woman, just like toxic femininity would be the over-the-top feminist who's like I'll never have a kid for you because fucking that's not my job and and you're just a piece of shit, man and this is nothing you're ever gonna do, is ever gonna rectify the years of blah, blah, blah that have happened, you know, because of men's aggression to women. That's, that's, it's both.
Speaker 1:But one is when men are doing it, and one is when women are doing it. I mean it's just hate, you know, it's hating that any kind of hate is toxic, whether it's masculine, feminine, black, white, brown, you know it doesn't matter, it's, it's all wrong you know, because put in a box the same way women have been put in a box.
Speaker 3:Because historically men have been made to be this. They're supposed to be strong and burly and protective. But historically men were openly homosexual or bisexual. Look back at the Greeks and the Romans and then look at the men today and tell me that you don't see a precursor to the past, Like what? Like a reverting back to those times.
Speaker 2:Back to the Greek and the Roman times.
Speaker 3:Yes, because there are so many closeted heterosexual men, there are so many men not in touch with their sexuality or their feminine side, because they have been so, it's been so drilled into them that they have to be brave and tough and strong, and so they're so disconnected from their feminine.
Speaker 1:I think, like men and women both have way more of an ability to be transparent and to be openly gay than than they did before. It is still scary sometimes, you know, because it's two worlds clashing together. It is two worlds that have not ever really come together in any of our lifetimes, and and and like I feel like.
Speaker 2:I was like right at the beginning like Patty.
Speaker 1:Patty has been there for the whole rodeo, you know.
Speaker 1:But like, since I was a kid, you know, when I was younger, like people couldn't be gay, you know, like you'd get beat up, you know, and people were getting, you know, tortured in school, and that still happens you know, but now there's like this whole you know kind of protections, there's like this false sense of well, maybe I can, you know, maybe I can go out, maybe I can have the life that you know I can live, because I can't live a different life because of circumstance, you know, I mean everything is circumstance, you know, honestly, like, but we, you know, we come in like these waves, we, you know, we come in like these waves, you know, and it's not until, it's not until we can find a balance to it all.
Speaker 1:You know, like it can't just be one way or the other, you have to, you have to look at it from multiple angles. You know, in in one sentence, I could, I could, you know, be talking about something and then come back around and contradict it, you know, and then look at it on the back side, you know, and in the same thought process, you know, have have looked at it from like eight different points of view, just by trying to talk it out.
Speaker 1:You know, I wish everybody thought like that though yeah because not everybody thinks like that yeah, but some things, you know, some things it's a lot, because you know everything adds to it every day. It doesn't matter, you know, we, we we're just adding and adding, and adding and adding, and so we step back and we're like, you know, the simple fact is this person is a good person, or this person you know is not doing good to others, is hurting other people. That's bad, you know, and that's what it is at the end of the day, you know you can't be radical. You can't. That's. The problem is like, the radical side of things is, you know, yes, it's what changes things, but it's also what destroys things. You know, like you have to.
Speaker 2:That in and of itself doesn't create solutions. That in and of itself doesn't create solutions. What it does is it motivates, it kind of instigates parts of the culture of a society to move in a way where, ultimately, they're going to have to find balance, but the people on the extreme ends, they're not coming up with viable solutions, they never have.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter, get rid of my. They never have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't matter what yeah, it doesn't really matter, they're just. You know, I mean, and listen, in my 20s I was a, you know, I was a marxist, communist, I was a radical. I did believe in revolution and I think that what's going on right now, with most of these kids running around talking about how they're marxists they haven't even fucking read the books south korea is really making a fucking valid point like they're.
Speaker 1:Like we're gonna push ourselves to the point of extinction to make this point. They're going to that point you know pretty extreme.
Speaker 1:They, they have the right idea, but instead of cutting themselves out of their love, that they have, that they do share or whatever, don't participate in in the the hate, whatever kind of hate it is. You know, you see it. Don't participate. If you're not participating, then it's not there. You know, then, the people that are fighting, they're just fighting with themselves and they just look ridiculous, right, you know. And the people that are fighting.
Speaker 3:They're just fighting with themselves and they just look ridiculous, right, you know?
Speaker 2:and you have to yeah, don't feed it, take, yeah, you don't feed it, but you know, you have to really take a look at where, like, who benefits, right, who benefits from people being driven to such extremes?
Speaker 2:So oftentimes, these movements that like what you're talking about, especially movements that drive us, you're talking about especially movements that drive us to extinction or drive us to population decline or drive us, you know, in these directions that are anti-anti-human, are not driven necessarily by uh, by forces that are pro-human or for viable solutions. They're usually they're coming from some kind of political ideology that is being controlled by some other force, some globalist force that has some nefarious agenda that is, that is fundamentally anti-human. And so what happens is we get, we get sucked into it, we get hooked into these movements, into these ideologies, into these things, and we're like rah rah, we're carrying the banner for these, you know, for these movements that end up being completely destructive to us, our relationships, our communities, every, our bodies, our, our spirits are, you know, our minds there have been movements that have changed the world and made things happen for the better the end of segregation.
Speaker 1:You know like I'm not gonna sit there and never think. You know that that that wasn't a good movement, but they went in a, in a way, the civil rights there was some fighting, exactly that's what I mean, not an extremist movement, it was the cops, it was all the people, you know, all the people against them that were fighting with themselves and after destroying so many innocent things and it is fucked up like they didn't participate in the battle, like the fighting, that they're rowing things back exactly and and they refused to participate that's right in the segregation that was that was making them separate.
Speaker 1:You know they refused to go to the color battle. They refused to go to wherever you know like we. We did those things you know like and that's what made the difference.
Speaker 2:That's right. So the civil rights movement was really a bridge building movement. I mean, they were not being exclusive. They did not say no, whites allowed you know. No, you can't, because there are a lot of white people who are like we agree with you, we support this movement. People of all, all colors and persuasions and religions, you know. And it was a non-violent movement. It was like we're not going to engage in violence and that was under the leadership and it worked, dr king, and it did work.
Speaker 1:It wasn't just the protest like on the standing in the street, it wasn't that. It was the fact that they were not gonna participate in these bullshit laws that were made for no fucking reason. There was nothing different from them to the other people and they were gonna fucking prove it in the best way that they possibly could look at the kind of leadership that dr king you know.
Speaker 2:So when he went, he would all those people in washington dc did he say you know, down with whitey. You know white supremacy is a bad. No, he said I have a dream. I have a dream that we'll all come together, not based on the color of our skin. So he was putting out a vision that was inclusive of everyone, the kind of vision that we're talking about today. Like you know that it was a balance that is peaceful, you know, that is bringing into all kinds of perspective look at what's out there now, though, enoki, look at, look at the move.
Speaker 2:Like you know, when I said, like movements are pushed and and you have all these people fighting and all of this stuff and it's like extremist yeah, extremist, you know crazy, but you don't, you don't participate.
Speaker 1:You know, like, like, like my, my generation, we started saying, nah, I got a girlfriend, grandma, sorry, yeah, that's, that's, that's what it is. And and when they look and be like, oh, that's wrong, why, you know, I'd be like well, this is why and this is why, and this is why and this happened to me and that happened to me and this happened and and I just, I just can't be there anymore. Like that, you know, like one, it would never be real, it would never be right, it would never make sense. You know, there are things that have been taken that can never be given back.
Speaker 1:You know, like, and this is the place that I stand in, because this is the only angle that I can see. Yeah, you know, and so my generation did that, you know, and we did. We got sent off to these freaking reform camps and you know all kinds of stuff and you know just ridiculous things. But we went through it, you know, and at the end of the day we were still us.
Speaker 1:And we didn't change and we didn't let them do whatever we were like. Go ahead, lobotomize me. I'm not going to fight you over something. You're having a war with yourself. My situation is not affecting you, not affecting you outside of your own head and what it's making you be trapped in because, because it's not affecting you and I'm gonna walk down my path to try to rectify, in the most peaceful, non-violent, non-angry, non-aggressive way that I possibly can display, that this is the only way that I can exist and this is how I'm existing, right and I think like that, that is perfectly reasonable and that's a balanced vision.
Speaker 2:I don't think that the extremes, no matter what side you're on, no matter what extreme it is, it's. It's not pro human, you know, it's not, it's not in the, it's not expansive, like it's not going to really expand our consciousness. What's going to expand our consciousness is being able to sit and kind of look at it all, like from those different perspectives and say, all right, let's find balance or let, as Buddha, you know, the middle way and and move forward. And I think to the point where we are so polarized in the extreme, I think that we there's the danger of devolution, like moving backwards, of everything becoming reductionistic and reactive and all of this and that's against our own evolution. And when we're moving in the opposite direction of our own evolution, then we're moving towards our own extinction. And I think people really need to see that. And maybe that's why we have a population decrease happening, because maybe on some subconscious level or some spiritual level there are souls saying the human race is not moving in an expansive direction. I don't want to incarnate here, I'm not, we're not, we're not going to be born into the human race if it's moving in the direction of devolution. If it's moving backwards, because that's against all universal law, we should be moving in a direction of expansion, consciousness expansion. And to the point where our species is not moving in the direction of expanding our consciousness, then we will.
Speaker 2:Then we do risk our own extinction, and I don't I don't think people really really see that, but the indicators are there. You know, like wow, you know our population is kind of decreasing, like our. You know our systems are failing, things are imploding, you know all of these things and that you know it's not looking too good. You know, and we're still having wars all over the world for crazy reasons we don't even understand. I mean, there's just you know what I mean. We're caught up in our own insanity. And so how long can a species live in under those conditions?
Speaker 3:you know it just doesn't like I always say that it's almost like humanity has amnesia. We just continuously repeat these historical things.
Speaker 1:That is so pointless the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result yeah, so here we are still trying to create war, which is the lowest vibration, you know violence that's like probably my third staple statement in my life. You know is is I have to. I had to tell myself that over and over because when I was younger I would do the same things, like and expect something to be different and so yeah like one day, I like woke up and I was like, no, I'm I'm done.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna do this differently. I'm gonna, no, I'm I'm done.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna make a left, I'm gonna make a left, and then I'm gonna make another right, and then I'm gonna make a left, and I'm never gonna and I'm never coming back to the street again.
Speaker 2:All right, but have you guys noticed though, enoki, that's a really good point, but have you noticed how much more effort it takes to live that way now, with so many things drawing us into like pattern, like you know, like, even like you know? You look at your cell phone and it's like, oh my goodness, this thing has me doing the same thing over and over. I have to literally think, oh, wait, a minute, stop, you know, and I have to step away away. Like it takes a lot more effort now not to fall in those, fall into, uh, those repetitive, um behaviors.
Speaker 1:It's almost like everything is set up for us to fall into repetitive behaviors and just, you know, move along, you know and and I'm like one of those broken humans where, like I, cannot find a routine of anything, like the most routine thing in my life right now, other than waking up every day, is is every saturday morning. I call you guys all right the rest of the week. I don't know, you know, like, like what's gonna?
Speaker 1:happen tomorrow who knows, like, like you know, I mean I have like basic things, you know, but me and nita see something different every day and we have different food every day and like I'm constantly, you know, like I look at like some of the projects and mess around me and I'm like god, if I could just do that more than once, it'd be done already this is unmedicated adhd in your 30s.
Speaker 3:Hello, it actually works out in our favor, though, because life has different flavors from a day-to-day basis, and it's not just like everything's not vanilla all the time.
Speaker 1:That's why my brain, you know, like you and patty, you know, are like, I need variety. This is normal life and I'm like, but what about this? You know like, because, like I, I thought of that and three other things before I thought about the other one it's so easy to get wrapped up, though, because you know society keeps us working.
Speaker 1:I went to talk to them. I got, I got some medication or whatever, and then they they just disappeared off the face of the earth and I couldn't like contact them anymore and you know what that was like eight months ago and you know who hasn't called to find the new therapist. Did things work out a lot better and was I finishing some projects when I was taking the stratera? Yeah, absolutely. I felt like I had a buddy with me all the time. Can I get back to that? I don't know. We'll have to wait and see.
Speaker 2:No, I I like that. I mean I, you know, I I would say that, um my, when I, when I had the cafe, was probably um the the closest to the kind of life you're describing, anoki, and I think we just lost her, but it's just like I would get. Every day was different and I was always like there were always projects to do.
Speaker 3:You never knew who was coming in the shop. You could decide what the soup was. What do I feel like making today?
Speaker 2:Everything was like what's the lunch going to be today? Well, I don't know, let's see. And then maybe Bridget would come in and we'd be like what do you think the soup should be? Oh, let's do this. Oh, we've got this ingredient, let's try this. And it was, yeah, it was just really really awesome, like how creative you can be in that kind of environment. So you know, I look at teaching and you know teaching is one of the most and I tell people, it's one of the most conservative. I don't know how the fuck did I end up in teaching? But anyway, that's a whole other thing. But, like, it's one of the most conservative professions. And you look more and more and it's becoming more and more and more and more clear and it's becoming more and more exposed how education, from its inception, was really about just indoctrination, just about spitting out, yeah, generations and generations of of well-behaved factory workers, and that's what I mean Societally.
Speaker 3:In society, control has been something that the powers that be want to harness, and so the trickle-down effect, masculine-wise, is exactly that. It's little micro. You know controllers, Because society has taught us that we need to be controlled yeah, I mean because, really, because the what, like?
Speaker 2:we need government because if we don't have government, there's going to be chaos and people are going to get hurt. We need this because if we don't have that, this, this bad thing will happen. We need school because otherwise people are going to be uneducated and stupid and whatever, and it's kind of like oh, I think and this is just a just you know it's funny the way things are indoctrined in.
Speaker 3:I was in ashville the other day and I noticed that they have painted all their school buses white. Can you guys tell me who rides in white school buses?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 3:Fucking prisoners. That's a prison bus, fucking prisoners. So now they've got school buses.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't be able to fucking tell the difference between a school bus and a prison bus and little old church ladies what do you mean?
Speaker 3:I'm not talking about the little travel buses, I'm talking about a full size fucking school bus that should have prisoners on the side of the road, fucking garbage bags, picking up trash, like yeah, I literally when I saw that it said like county schools, I, I was in awe, yeah, and and it's just one of those little things. But it's like my kids already feel like they go.
Speaker 2:They are not not a bus like that, I'm talking like a full-ass bus but you know in a way there but but your kids, but your sons are right. I mean like even they feel like they're in jail. You go into their school they've got no fucking windows.
Speaker 3:The food that they eat is shit. Yeah, and how am I supposed to after? Are they supposed to respond to bell? Right, but here I am like teaching my kids to you know, know the difference. And then they learn the difference in their own mind. But I'm like, well, you still have to stay there because I don't have another solution. Yeah, you'd have to homeschool. Yeah, and society has made it so that you know. You know the world that we live in and the america that we live in. I can't stay at home anymore. I was. I was blessed to stay home for years, right, because I had a man that I could depend on, you know. But times change and it costs more to live, so now I've got to work full time, absolutely now my kids are partially raising them.
Speaker 3:So I've got like fucking lock key kids, like latchkey kids, like my kids are reliving fucking the nineties. Because now I've got latchkey kids and I'm like I'm leaving, have a good night, this is what's in the fridge for dinner. So I've got my teenagers cooking meals, you know, caring for their siblings and then having to go to jail school every day, and then me tell them this isn't the only way, there's another way. But you have to go through the indoctrination system to get there, to break out of the matrix, to do something that is individualized for your own benefit and your own pleasure. It's a really fucked up situation, or?
Speaker 2:you could just tell them that the system is not good for you, but we don't have another option.
Speaker 3:I tell them that you can be in the system and still be able to pull yourself out, kind of what ioki was saying earlier when you know, when he came home and he said I, I, I hate myself, mommy, I can't do anything, right, I?
Speaker 1:tried so hard and and and and he had come home with like bruises on his neck one day, and yeah, you know that was like, well, whatever we gotta do, you know we're not going back.
Speaker 1:You know like, like, and luckily, you know the boys are, are really tough and they they've, they've managed to survive. You know the public school system, you know, and, and you and pat, you know, do, do all that you can. You know, outside of school, you know, when you can to make sure that you guys have a rich life. You know, like, but like I, I I went I was not as great at at normal school, you know, and I did have a couple years where I was homeschooled and I did really well doing the homeschool, you know. So now what I'm doing is I'm door dashing or spark driving with with him with me, you know. And.
Speaker 3:I mean, I did that for years.
Speaker 1:I think that that's a great way to make money and still have your son with you spark is the best man because it's like 20 bucks in order most of the time, you know yeah, yeah, and you actually are getting tips and you get regular.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you get like three orders an hour. That's like 20 bucks in order most of the time. You know. Yeah, yeah, and you actually are getting tips and you get regular.
Speaker 1:You get like three orders an hour. That's almost 75 bucks an hour sometimes, you know, plus they have like all these incentives. You know that's what I'm going out to do today. You know, I just like like I couldn't, I couldn't take him back there. You know I couldn't drive, I couldn't take him to school. That next day I drove there to go to the office to tell them he wasn't going to go there. We've got all these people in the public school system and a lot of kids go to school and people are like oh, that's your problem. While they're at school, the parents don't even want to talk to the school. While they're at school, you know, the parents don't even want to talk to the school, you know. And then so the school is making up all these rules and things that they have to provide or whatever, for all these people you know who want to complain about it, like I couldn't complain about it. I don't want to complain about it, I just don't want to participate.
Speaker 3:When I woke up this morning, peyton asked me. Peyton said he laid down in bed next to me and he said mom, I don't want to go to school on the last day of school. We're weeks away and my kid is already concerned about what's going to happen on the last day of school. Let me tell you I survived a school shooting. I I lived that on the last day of school.
Speaker 3:I will absolutely not fucking send you and I do not give a shit what anybody says yeah, it's like the danger, the most dangerous day of the year?
Speaker 3:absolutely fucking not. I worry about you being in school, patty. I mean honestly, yeah, um, they have instagram pages where they get like they get shut down and reopen a new account. But it's like the school fights, like what fights are happening? What teachers got assaulted? Yeah, um, who get to dealt with? Who, um, pictures of of you know, bullying other kids with pictures of them? Yeah, people, they're doing this shit every day, like yeah it's like part of their are not a safe place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this is how you gain popularity.
Speaker 3:This is how you gain popularity, yeah it's like who can you fucking bully and and how can you?
Speaker 2:climb the, the ladder of hierarchy of popularity. Because but just just to, just to point out you know how we were talking about, how our schools are structured, like prison all right now think there's hierarchy think about, um, the behavior of, of prisoners within a prison and think about, like, what prisons that, that environment, that culture and the kind of behavior that it promotes.
Speaker 1:And so we wonder why, uh, this kind of behavior is going on in our schools, absolutely not this structure right and and see their friends and look forward to recess and look forward to to but that's eradicated in the upper classes. Yeah well, children don't get forward to the extracurricular things that schools used to offer. You know, little by little, each year they're cutting back on yeah, I mean upperclassmen.
Speaker 3:These kids don't get to go to the fucking playground. These kids don't get to go, even sit in the courtyard for a period and read a book or just fucking vibe with each other. Like they don't get that.
Speaker 2:There's no opportunity for convalescing in class, you know, like they don't get that opportunity I wanted to make sure that I shared with you guys before, um, before we end our live stream today, before we end our our yeah, the podcast today, that, um, I do have a job interview coming up.
Speaker 3:Um you guys probably know that.
Speaker 2:I've been applying for jobs left, right and center, all over the district and haven't heard a blip, and applied to jobs outside the district and have not heard a single word from anyone. So I get contacted from a school I applied to this position called Leadership Entrepreneurial. That's what they want someone to teach. I was like, oh, that's interesting, it's at an academy. It's actually a charter school in, uh, north carolina. Yeah, it's, you know what it's, it's just north of charlotte, oh okay oh east, just north of charlotte yeah.
Speaker 2:So I have no idea. I don't know the area, I don't know the culture.
Speaker 3:Yeah, charlotte's a little bit more open culture-wise.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a pretty big city, it's a big city, yeah, but I mean it's not in the city.
Speaker 2:It looks like it's maybe 30 minutes north of the city that would be nice.
Speaker 2:So I have this zoom interview Interesting on Monday and I looked at like parameters for the job and it's like, well, gee, I can't really. You know that they don't really describe much about the job, but apparently they liked what they saw in my resume because you know, I was a business owner for 10 years. You know I've done some interesting stuff and wrote a couple books and done a pot. You know I mean I've just done I don't know. So who knows, maybe they want to tap You're an entrepreneur, yeah, yeah. So maybe they want to tap some of that stuff. So it's just kind of interesting to. It'll be interesting to see, like what is their vision for somebody who teaches that?
Speaker 2:so I mean the last thing I want to do is is uh is uh, you know, I don't want to teach them, like you know, how to be, um, corporate entrepreneurs. That's so old paradigm, you know. So this is kind of we're moving into kind of a new time and a new paradigm and I think like what you've been saying.
Speaker 3:You know about teaching, you know that we are getting there.
Speaker 3:We are getting there there's so many of us parents that are you know, want something better for our kids and I mean I stand behind charter schools 110%. I think that the breaking down of these districts and pulling kids into charter schools that have this smaller community, that have the ability to learn skills, to learn trades, to step out of that normalcy of what we consider to be, you know regular school, you know it feels different. Charter school feels safer, more more in touch with community and more ability to branch out outside of just you know your core subjects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I and I like that and and also I just you know, as we were talking into all of the conversation, all the topics that we covered, I honestly do think like one of the biggest solutions moving forward, whether it's in education or other aspects, is going to be building community like focusing on local, smaller communities that can be self determined. That can.
Speaker 3:What is community? Communication and unity.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, but I mean like literally having you know. I think that there will be people coming together to create communities that are self sufficient. Where does our food come from? How are we going to take care of the people in our community? What you know, what you know, all of these you know, how are we going to educate the children in our community? Like making all of those kind of decisions, I think, like looking forward, I think that that as our, as our big structures fail, our big systems kind of fall apart, I think it's going to emerge are these local, you know community, grassroots based? You know kind of loosely knit or maybe tightly knit communities that make all of these decisions themselves?
Speaker 1:yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I think that's really awesome. So if charter schools are part of that effort, I think that's awesome and I'd like to be part of that. Then we'll see.
Speaker 1:Since you're so good with like zoom and stuff, have you done um? Have you been applying for like online teaching too? I I have not been applying for online teaching. You should, because you're really good with it. I mean, patty, you're the guy that puts this on.
Speaker 3:You're the.
Speaker 1:IT tech Me and Taylor.
Speaker 2:That's kind of.
Speaker 3:Did you show up, we just roll out of bed and we're like we're here we made it Patty does all the work Like my students like this my students roll out of bed, you know this is basically like your, your zoom class right here, you know we're figuring it out.
Speaker 1:I'm getting trained.
Speaker 2:I'm getting training right now. That's awesome. I haven't really and okay, I haven't really thought of it because, honestly, my preference is to kind of be, you know face in person, yeah, in person. I think that yeah, there's. There's something uh really wonderful about that kind of connection and I like it and also just think about it, like if you're in an environment where you're interfacing with people not just your students, but the nurse or that, just like whoever it is that's participating in this, whatever this thing is, uh, that you're doing there's something really wonderful about that and I I like those kind of um, those kinds of connections yeah, so
Speaker 1:yeah, that would be.
Speaker 2:I mean, like, look, I had a coffee house, it was a gathering place. It was like my favorite thing, you know, to create an environment where people could connect with each other, you know.
Speaker 1:But also, too, if you could teach via, you know, like classes, like do like online classes or whatever, like do like, uh, online classes or whatever, yeah, and maybe it wouldn't take up as much of your time as teaching at the school and you could focus some time on writing a small group to be in person with throughout the week and then you'd have the ability to go wherever and travel wherever and stay or move, or, or you know, yeah, you just get more flexibility in in life.
Speaker 1:Like I've been looking online at uh doing, like uh doing some coding or whatever, um, trying to learn python coding language, and uh, like there's a ton of online jobs for that, you know, and that's something that I can do at home. And then, you know, be able to homeschool nightist or teach nightist or pack up and go to florida overnight or whatever you know I can do. I can just take it with me, you know, and and do it there because you know you want to enjoy what you're doing but at the same time, you want to have, you know, a good work-life balance and yeah with everything being so crazy, you know, like lol, what is that?
Speaker 3:so tired Work-life balance.
Speaker 1:I think you know, if you got to do what you got to do either way, then do it in a way that you can make other things work for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you can have other things going on in your life besides that. Because I tell you what, working full time at this job man, I come home and we were joking just this week about how tired we are and I said, are you putting your pajamas on before dinner? And they were like yes. I said, yeah, me too. We have gotten to the point where we have pajamas. Well, I mean, I think the point wasn't so much pajamas per se, but that you are like you're ready for bed before you even eat dinner.
Speaker 2:However, however, that looks for you, you know, and it's kind of like wow, it's, it's real. Really know, we work in a system that is kind of not, is disharmonic to just about every way we're wired, and so it takes its toll on teachers, on teachers too. Unless you're and I think even the teachers that are totally into it, like really, you know, invested in it, they still, they still wear it on their Whoa, they still wear it on their face Whoa, they still wear it on their face. You can tell you know what I'm talking about. At any rate, I'll have to give you guys an update next week about that. We'll just see what happens. I'm just going with the flow.
Speaker 1:Send me good vibes. I hope you get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I don't really know much about it. I'll be doing a zoom thing with a few people from the school and we'll just they'll ask questions, I'll ask questions and we'll see where it goes. Awesome awesome, anyway it looks it looks like we've got some sunshine here, enoki, so taylor isn't taylor's only one, really.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's a little overcast, but I've got some. Yeah, there's some sun poking through here. It's been a lot of fun, as always. We covered a lot of ground, definitely covered a lot of ground, and as always it's been, it's been awesome, and so we we hope that everybody has a great week and stay connected in whatever ways you stay connected.
Speaker 3:Choose kindness.
Speaker 2:Choose kindness, openness, expansion.
Speaker 1:Don't participate if it doesn't feel right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can make other choices. So have a great week. Everyone Sending you all love and we'll chat next week. Bye you guys, love you, love you.