Patti Talks Too Much

Home Projects, Shifts in the Gay Community, and the Problem with Labels

Patti

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Home renovation might seem daunting, but Anoki proves that with perseverance and a bit of elbow grease, anyone can turn their house into a home. On this episode of Patti Talks Too Much, Anoki shares her DIY journey, offering insights into the hard work and dedication it takes to achieve self-sufficiency. Her experiences with insulating her new house and caring for her chickens and bunnies provide a heartwarming look at the rewards of small, consistent efforts.

What happened to authenticity in the gay community? We reminisce about shows like "The L Word" and reflect on how LGBTQ representation has shifted over the years. From meaningful storytelling to more superficial portrayals, we discuss the cultural implications of these changes. Our conversation also touches on the evolution of drag culture, emphasizing the need for genuine expression and dignity in representation.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are complex topics that we tackle head-on through personal stories and thoughtful analysis. We address societal pressures, the pharmaceutical industry's influence, and the divisiveness of labels within the LGBTQ community. By sharing our own experiences and struggles, we highlight the importance of seeing people for who they are beyond labels. The episode concludes with reflections on the power of words and the necessity of rest and reflection when facing our fears, all inspired by the Rabbit medicine card. Join us for a thought-provoking and heartfelt discussion.

Speaker 2:

Good morning. Good morning, this is Patti, with Patti Talks Too Much. I am here with my dear friend Anoki for another Saturday morning live stream. Taylor may be joining us. It's always like a crapshoot with Taylor.

Speaker 1:

I believe, in Taylor.

Speaker 2:

We believe in her. But, she may be joining us, and so, for those of us who have been following the podcast, you know that now we've been getting these little updates from Enoki on the progress in her, um, her new home, which you know, the, I guess the kid arrived a few weeks ago and every week she does a little bit more. So, enoki, hey, okay, I get it. It's porter's birthday birthday, did she say? She's running late?

Speaker 1:

Wow, she said she's running around. I don't know, she's trying to make it all happen. Okay, all right.

Speaker 2:

She's taking, she's doing Her youngest birthday, little Porter.

Speaker 1:

All right, so youngest's birthday. What little porter hold on, alright so um last week you had some walls up so yeah, I got some walls up now and got one wall left because I didn't have the insulation to do this wall I wanted to make sure that wherever I was putting anything, I had insulation. But I'm getting the rest of the insulation to clean, yay. Beautiful At least 75% or 95% of the house will be insulated. Today We'll have the entire roof insulated for sure, because the roof is a really big problem right now.

Speaker 1:

We have a white roof. So we thought you know what's gonna be really reflective. It's not gonna be so bad. Yeah, the whole ceiling, I'll have enough for it, and then I'll have enough, um, to do at least 75% of the walls, if I don't get the whole wall. So it goes a lot further in the walls because the walls are narrower channels. These walls all have you know four-inch rock wool.

Speaker 1:

They're soundproof, fireproof and super insulated. These are like sub-arctic insulated. But I had that left and we did a little living area Nice. I put a couple more boards that I had for insulation up there and uh did that. And then, uh, this is a roll out vinyl flooring, so I just have it kind of staged here right now, um, just so that I could see the room, um, but uh, but you know, long term it's going to be laid and sealed and you know, it's really pretty.

Speaker 1:

It's the same as the other rooms it's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Now are you doing the electricity as you go?

Speaker 1:

uh, yeah, so the other thing that we're going to be working on today, um, because our installation board doesn't really stick up over the joist where we need to put the electric. Yeah, it's not going to interfere one way, or the other thing that we're going to be working on today because our installation board doesn't really stick up over the joist where we need to put the electric it's not going to interfere one way or the other.

Speaker 1:

This room though I'm going to take down drywall right now, as it seemed, because I'm going to take it down to put the outlet in when I'm ready to put the outlet in I wanted a clean space that I could think, and you know yeah function and have my little, my little desk area.

Speaker 2:

You know, that's awesome, I got some of my music stuff in here.

Speaker 1:

It's not set up yet. You know what I mean. It's not a finished product right now. It's just a treehouse hangout, clubhouse thing that's awesome, enoki.

Speaker 2:

It's amazing, you know, to each week to see, kind of um, what you're able to accomplish week by week.

Speaker 1:

You know yeah you know, just every week, just put a little bit towards it and do a little bit of what we can, you know, and go forward from there. You know, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's awesome, it's beautiful. That's how you know, that's how to do it and, like I was saying last week, it's you know, a lot of times people think this is beyond my reach, is something I can't do, and the thing is is that there's, there's always, there's always a way you know, like, if you really yeah, if you, if you really want to, um, uh, you know, make something like that happen, you know, yeah, you know. So you're, you're set, I mean, you're in a really, really good position, better than many people in terms of, like, working towards being self-sufficient in a lot of ways. You know you've got your chickens, you have your. You know you have your little animals.

Speaker 2:

You have your bunnies, you know you have that sort of thing.

Speaker 1:

It's perseverance and diligence and not giving up, because where there's a will, there's a way and not giving up, because where there's a will there's a way.

Speaker 2:

We've talked a lot about that. You know, like um last week, you know just just um how much, how much effort. You know, like people have to be willing to kind of make those choices and put in the effort because, um, if, if, um, it's the easy things are the things that are generally not not, not good for us, not good for our minds and nobody.

Speaker 1:

Nobody said it was easy, Nobody said it would be this hard.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely it's. It's perspective and and perseverance. So I wanted to you know how earlier I mentioned that I think we've done this 20 times so far Around 20 times since the video.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, we've got like half of a pregnancy in our TV of the podcast and I was thinking, okay, well, you know, that's pretty good. And for some reason this week I thought I would check out another, another podcast, you know, and I thought I thought you'd be interested in in this. So you remember the L word. Oh yeah, all right. So Alicia, alicia Harley and Kate Mowing started a podcast, I think earlier this year, and it's called Pants, you know, and so it's a podcast. But then they also you could see the videos of it on YouTube and so I checked out an episode because I was like, wow, you know, these are, you know, because they're characters.

Speaker 1:

She's super fun she's, so fun she's really cool in real life okay all right in real life.

Speaker 2:

Who which one?

Speaker 1:

alicia, yeah, all right.

Speaker 2:

So so they have these really interesting characters and everybody likes the l word. I mean, I couldn't believe how many watch parties there were. This was back. This was in the nineties, early.

Speaker 1:

We had our own chart. Yeah, it was nuts.

Speaker 2:

And there were so many and I couldn't believe how many straight women watched the L word. It was like this huge thing and then when they tried to come back and do these other things, it just didn't work. So they were these interesting characters. But my point is this so I listened to their podcast because I thought that, you know, they've got an interesting podcast Now. They've got lots of money, so it's set up in this little studio. They've got these really great mics, you know. The sound is perfect. They've got a producer in the back. They've got the neon sign, you know whatever all of that, right and yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, okay, this is going to be interesting, because I was going on like I didn't really know a lot of what they did outside of the show. Alicia was in bosh, she did. She did a few episodes in in bosh, but's a great series. It's a detective series, but anyway, she played like a criminal in Bosch, at any rate. So I listened to this episode and I'm going to tell you kind of like, basically, what did they talk about? They talked about what they were watching on television. They talked about how they like to sit at dinner parties, like our rectangle, our round tables, better than rectangular tables.

Speaker 2:

Um, kate was. She had a big dilemma and alicia was like I'll help you, I'll help you with your dilemma, I'll help you figure it out. And she said, okay, so I'm really, I'll help you with your dilemma, I'll help you figure it out. And she said okay, so I'm really into this TV series, this series, and I've been watching it and there are like three more episodes to go. But then there's this new series that's starting tonight and I really, really want to watch it, but I really want to finish this other series.

Speaker 2:

But then there's this other series, and so she's literally like the advice that she's asking Alicia for is what to do about the fact that there are, and one of like one, one of the shows that she watches and they both watch is the Kardashians. Like the Kim Kardashian, the Kardashians, and I think another one is, is hacks, but like all this, and I didn't even know about, but at any rate. So her big dilemma was what do I do? Because I haven't finished this series, but this new series is coming out. This was this, was it Like this was the substance of their podcast. What should I do, you know? Because I really oh, oh, and there's this actress that I really love and she's gonna show up on this and I on in this episode and I really want to see it. So I'm really, I'm just torn.

Speaker 1:

You know, these characters gave a lot of people direction kind of you know, and they didn't know how to be who they wanted, or how to love, or how to share that with their family, or they were going through and they screwed up or they were going through that yeah, you know, and they fucked up and and and they stayed together and they worked as a family and stuff.

Speaker 1:

You know, some people really like that stuff and that's okay. You know, like I, I just was not, I'm not really into yeah, I was more into the fact that shane was homeless. You know, I'm glad that she's a millionaire now, you know, but I would have rather her had love and nothing than, you know, everything and no one. The last few episodes of the original l word, you know, all was shattered down and Bette and Tina, you know, are totally opposite places and you know we don't have the story behind the kids as much. You know, I only watched like three of the episodes because I didn't want it to tear down this beautiful family that I had in my head, to tear down this beautiful family that I had in my head that I built all those memories following them, like they're following the Kardashians now. Maybe it's because their perspective shifted from watching the fight of freedom to the more Kardashianardashian side of of entertainment.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, this is because, like, oh, because this is, this is the epitome of of um success and fulfillment is if you can live like a kardashian. If you can be, if you can be gay and live like a kardashian, you have arrived everything changed with all of the movements I don't know how to participate in them anymore.

Speaker 1:

And then I feel like if I follow some of the stuff, like there's a lot of raunchy things that are just mixed in with stuff and I tend to stay away from raunchy either way, like like I've always been the like weird crude in a room full of drag queens you know?

Speaker 2:

yeah, I can't, you know I can't, I can't, but they're some of my best friends.

Speaker 1:

I want to be around them, I want to, you know, support them. But they're like, oh you know, they come out with their big plastic piece and I'm like yeah, I can't do it yeah the last drag show I went to, they had like eight dildos on stage and I'm like you know why are you doing that?

Speaker 1:

Because the whole purpose of drag was that these beautiful men that could connect with their femininity, that were these beautiful gay men, were getting out on stage and letting their Freddie Mercury and their Diana Ross and their you know, yeah, all these things it's not about that anymore changed.

Speaker 2:

It's not about that anymore.

Speaker 1:

It's really, you know, and I don't I don't use this word lightly, but I think it's really degenerated drag queens were so fucking classy yeah, we're just, they're the classiest finest women it was, and I met one I met one in north carolina uh, I think his name was david, he'd been on some tv show or whatever and he was beautiful, blonde, beautiful makeup, very elegant, you know, he, he, he had the performer side of things really down to a pat where other people were like painting, like snake things on their face and it wasn't attractive, you know, in either direction.

Speaker 1:

You know like, and it just kind of like cut down the beauty of of what drag queens were. But then here was dave. It was beautiful, beautiful, shining, gorgeous drag queen, you know, gorgeous, gorgeous man, you know, up there, elegantly, and they were all the, all the younger drag queens were like looking at him and trying to be cool, you know, with their performances. But I could tell he was like don't, don't cut yourself down. You know, while you're up there, you know, keep, keep some class. You know to yourself. You know it's about portraying who you want to be.

Speaker 2:

Do you want to be a lizard, you know. So. It has gone a long way from the days when you had you had men who were tapping into this feminine expression. See, I honestly think like for a very, very long time we have been, humanity has been suppressed in terms of male and female expression, Like it's very narrow within the male expression.

Speaker 2:

You have to be this way, and it's throughout all cultures.

Speaker 2:

And then women are expected to be in this narrow expression and I honestly think that the function of gayness, like as a human consciousness expression, is to give full expression to these areas in human consciousness that aren't really allowed.

Speaker 2:

So then you have these men who are expressing all of this femininity. You have women who are expressing more masculinity, and the purpose the purpose really of gayness has been to to almost express these elements and these aspects of human consciousness that need to be expressed but have not been expressed within the social and cultural framework. And so we have that which has been really beautiful and I think it's been part of a healing process for the whole of humanity. It's like the function of gay people you know in society has been, in my opinion, to give expression to these aspects of femininity and masculinity that have been repressed. But what's happened is the politicization of the gay movement has brought it down a path where you have a lot of people in the gay community saying I don't really want to have anything to do with this, this isn't about my expression, it's gone from that, that expression that you remember in the nineties, where these classy men who wanted to give you know, who wanted to express all of this beauty and class, and the feminine form and they had dignity.

Speaker 2:

They weren't saying listen, I want to show my private parts to five year olds, and that's kind of what it's degenerated into and it's. And it's really too bad because I think it taps into a fear in people, Because I remember I mean I've been around longer, Right and so and I remember that for a long time people wrongly believed that pedophiles were homosexual, but pedophiles generally tended to be straight men. Now what you have is you have expressions within the gay community that tap into that fear. It's like why is this drag queen with his junk hanging out reading a book to my five-year-old?

Speaker 1:

But that's kind of where the gay community is gone, you know, with things. It's like it is about sex. There's so much more to you know, a gay relationship than sex. You know, sometimes sex is the smallest, most insignificant thing about a gay relationship.

Speaker 2:

I can't believe the proliferation of movies that depict lesbian relationships. It's not really based in what, what really goes on. So you have like this depiction and it is it's all about. You know, sex and desire, and I'm not saying that that's not part of it, but I'm saying there's like you were saying there's far more to it. I remember like gayness used to be the expression, like gay. Gay people in society were the ones who were these extraordinary artists and dancers, what they contributed to society. The act of breaking out of particular roles allowed them to give expression to some amazing things and make amazing contributions to the overall culture, you know, in the arts and in the music and all of this. And now that's, it's not about that at all, it's it has degenerated into something very different and we've lost our way.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like we were fighting for for gay people to just exist like other people. And then, in the process of doing that, like gaining that independence.

Speaker 2:

And then, in the process of doing that, like gaining that independence, we were like, okay, now we can exist, let's, you know, rub things in people's faces or something you know like, and then we got away from what it meant to just be with the person in in a community. I mean because it's all you know. I mean, like, if you live in a neighborhood most of us it's like well, I'm going to move into this neighborhood with my partner and I'd like to go to the neighborhood, cookouts and everything and just kind of be comfortable. I want to go to the, the, the work, the work, holiday parties with my partner and feel comfortable. I'm not looking to rub anything in anyone's face, I just want to kind of function like yeah, I just want to exist.

Speaker 2:

I definitely think we have a ways to go. But the thing is is what I think and the thing that's gotten me, and you know what? I don't talk about this a lot, I hardly talk about it. I just walk around, you know, and I think about it and whatever, and I keep it to myself.

Speaker 1:

But the direction that the gay community has gone in the gay leadership, because I think that they have allowed the community to be used by, oh, yeah, by by getting so bashy and stuff, it turned it into a war and that's why I love the older lesbian couples that come forward and they're like. You know, we just lived our life how we had to live our life and we were respectful with people. I agree, people were respectful with us, you know.

Speaker 2:

And so like we have to look at also what's happened in the gay community, because the last thing I want is for people who think that there's some authority in the gay community telling me how I should feel, what I should think and what my politics should be. You don't have the right, any more than anybody else, to tell me how to think, how to feel, who I should be attracted to.

Speaker 1:

What's the difference between you and the people that have?

Speaker 1:

asked us the entire time. You know, honestly, like sometimes I think, like, like, trans is conformity, you know, because, like when you, when you're a kid, you know, or when I was a kid, you know, they were like, oh, that's between a man and a woman, that's between a man and a woman, you know, and I was like, well, that's kind of, you know not, that's weird. You know, like I feel like I could do everything that a man could do. But then you get to this point where you're like, oh, I have to be this person in order for the world to think that I can love a woman, or for the world to think that I can work on a car, or for the world to think that I can do this or that.

Speaker 2:

What does it matter what the world thinks? I mean, who cares what the world thinks, honestly?

Speaker 1:

Well, that's what I'm saying. I feel like, you know, people who are trans are saying like I'm this person. You know why are you that person? You're that person? Because that person, this person that you are, doesn't fit into who you want to be.

Speaker 2:

That's why One of the one of the things that that's happened is a lot of a lot of the folks who have become trans, they're just gay. They're just gay, especially the women. They're just gay. You know, like, honestly, when I was growing up, you know, there were times I wish I was a boy. What kind of person would either one of us be if our breasts had been removed and we had been on hormones for our whole? What would you be who you are right now? Would I be? No, I wouldn't. So I'm. I'm glad that I'm a woman, even though when I was much younger, I wished I was a boy. Why? Because I looked at my brothers and they had privileges and they were able to do things and they had more recognition. They were acknowledged for more things. They were acknowledged for the same things that I did and I didn't get acknowledged. So it's like, well damn, the thing is, is like this this vulnerability in in our society has.

Speaker 2:

I think that there are forces in our society that have taken advantage of this weak point, which is that care like people, like that person wasn't able to fully be who they were, and so they were met with an alternative which involved permanently altering their physical form. The thing is is that unfortunately, what we have is a situation where, literally pharmaceutical companies, which control an awful lot of public policy, see this whole, the whole trans thing as a way to have permanent customers for life, because that that person will always need these medications. And you know, and unfortunately that's why in our culture, like there could be something wrong with us, but often the first solution is surgery. Why? Because it makes more money. So you have, like, in the medical industry, you have surgeries like, for instance, c-sections are promoted way over natural births. They really promote this stuff because it's more of a moneymaker than the natural, than the natural way. And so you have these, these policies, you have these things that are pushed, not because it's pro human but because it it there's the dollar at the bottom line, you know, of these pharmaceutical companies. We saw that in COVID. It's like all of these things that were pushed it really wasn't about our health at all, it was about the profit margins of these pharmaceutical companies.

Speaker 2:

And unfortunately I see the same thing happening in the trans community and all of that like there was a whole thing about like we don't need these labels. We have too many labels, you know we should live without labels. Look what's happened in the gay community. It's all about labels. But I mean, the thing is, is that the more labels you create, the more separation you create? So, even within the gay community, you have all of this strife, like even the gay community is not united. Because you have all of this strife, like even the gay community is not united. Because you have all of this stuff and it's really it's like labels. Well, I'm a this and you're that.

Speaker 1:

Since I came out, I have not really ever identified as as just lesbian. You know, like I like when somebody actually asked me. You know like I've been called. You know, called lesbian. When somebody actually asked me, you know like I've been called lesbian. I've been, you know, grouped with lesbians. Most of my friends all say they're lesbian you know, but for me I was married at 16.

Speaker 1:

I had a girlfriend before I had a boyfriend, and then I had boyfriends and then I had a girlfriend. You know, and I never, I could never, ever assimilate with the word bi, because everybody that I met that called themselves bi. It was like a show it felt like oh, I'm bi, you know like you just want to make out with a girl in a room full of boys you know that's not bi, that's. I mean, maybe that is bi and that's not what I am um you know so I've said my whole life that I was gender blind.

Speaker 1:

Like I just don't see gender, like when I'm talking to somebody I'm talking to them in their eyes, in their heart.

Speaker 1:

You know I'm connecting with them when I'm talking to them you know, I care about what they think or what they're saying or what they feel. You know, when they're talking to me, you know it doesn't matter if they're a guy or a girl, if they have a good heart and I love them. You know we're all made the way that we're made but at the end of the day, like everybody, just like focuses on on sexualization because it's like such a powerful thing, and you're right, the labels that we have are what, what destroys us, you know, and they're not accurate. We don't fit into boxes. You can't stuff people in the boxes. Everybody is different. Everybody has their own situations, their own life, their own experiences, their own traumas, their own heartbreaks, their own traumas, their own heartbreaks, their own happinesses.

Speaker 2:

I have a similar experience growing up when I, when I, was very traumatized by the fact that I was attracted to women. But I also, you know, I also liked boys. But when I, when I came out and I had, you know, my first girlfriend or whatever, and we broke up, I dated men and then I had these lesbian friends who later on were hyper, hyper critical of the fact that I had been with men. So I wasn't a real lesbian. Like I broke the rules, I broke the rules. So I wasn't a real lesbian. Like I broke the rules, I broke the rules. So I wasn't a real lesbian and I never really wanted to consider myself bisexual. But like I, you know, I've been with men. I've been with women. I tend to be more emotionally open to women, but that also could have to do with early childhood trauma, to do with early childhood trauma.

Speaker 1:

So it could be that I'm I'm a wounded soul who is more open to women than I am to men.

Speaker 2:

Because of, because of trauma, you know, and so. So that's kind of that and I recognize that, you know, I recognize, well, this is, this is what's what's happened with me, and it might be that I heal the trauma and I, you know, I'm more open to being, you know, with with a man emotionally, like I can be with men and I I enjoy their company and there are a lot of really nice things about being with a man. But I've never completely opened my heart to one, like I never fell in love with a man and I never had that experience. I cared very much for men but I never't want to be in. I felt like I had been so judged, like because I was, I wasn't an ordinary girl, you know, I did the boy things, you know, I climbed the trees, I like to play football with the boys and and all of that, and there was like, and I liked more the boy clothes, you know, like I like the heavier shoes and the jeans and everything.

Speaker 2:

I wasn't particularly a feminine girl and so I kind of you know I was obviously judged for that and you know, I felt like, well, when I finally came out, then I would be entering a world where I wouldn't be so judged.

Speaker 2:

And it turned out I was because I didn't fit into that box. So you know you were talking about fitting into boxes and so forth. It's kind of like you you escape one box and you get hurled into another box. And I think your point is is that we all just kind of want to be, we want to exist, we. You know, I don't want to impose my life on anyone and I don't want anyone to impose their life and their views and their politics and whatever on me. I just want to, I just want to be, you know, and and so I. I'm hoping that we can at some point get there. The thing that makes me so upset with the gay community is, I think, that so many of the things that they've done in the last 10, 15, 20 years have been counterproductive to that. I don't think that they've moved the needle.

Speaker 1:

Everybody made decisions for everyone. You know that they don't even have the ability to come over and you have, like these people that are like no, it's black or it's white. You know, and I'm sorry, there's a million different. You know things that you're not factoring in there. You know, and the world is much more evolved and complicated.

Speaker 2:

You know, like it comes full circle back to balance. And so here, as a species, as you know, as a human family, with the male, the, the masculine and the feminine have been out of balance, and I actually think that's why you know gay people exist is because we are an expression of those aspects of human consciousness coming together coming together now. Um, I know that we're coming up um on the hour and I have some um exciting news. I have a deck of the medicine cards the jamie sands medicine cards and I got them.

Speaker 2:

You pull it hard and I'll read it for you, because I came prepared.

Speaker 2:

Awesome. Well, listen, I will. Let's do that. Let's work as a team. Now here's the thing. I just want you to know like I got these as part of a medicine card little course that I signed up for. But I decided I was going to take this little course and how to read these. You know, there's a woman that I follow online and I really like her a lot. She's actually more of a tarot reader, but she was offering this course and how to work with medicine cards and I was like, let's take this little course, and what came with it was a deck of these medicine cards and, of course, the book, and so I'm really excited, you know, to be learning. But I thought, let me, let me pull a card for us this morning, right, and we'll see.

Speaker 2:

So the question is always what you know, what, what animal totem can provide us with? You know, the kind of wisdom we need for the weeks ahead? All right, so I've got my cards all spread out here, all right, and okay, here's one. All right, all right. So what I have pulled is the rabbit. Let's see what rabbit wisdom has to offer us this week. So rabbit Wow, this is about fear. Huh, yeah, so Rabbit wow, this is about fear. Huh yeah, do you want to read?

Speaker 1:

it. Sure, you want me to read it All right, sure, if you'd like, if you pulled Rabbit. Stop talking about horrible things happening and get rid of the what if? In your vocabulary. What if? In your vocabulary, this card may signal a time of worry about the future, or trying to exercise your control over whatever is not yet informed the future. Stop now. Write your fears down, be willing to feel them, breathe into them and feel them running through your body into Mother Earth as a giveaway, into mother earth as a giveaway. So, from from my perspective on this, you know, yeah, I do feel like this is really relative to like what we've been talking about you know, all day about how you know people were afraid of the gay community.

Speaker 1:

The gay community was afraid of people. You, know, and we pushed, and we pushed, and we pushed, you know, and and then, once we got to our point of position, we became the very things that we were trying to evade. You know, we became the very things that we were trying to to fight by creating all this stuff, by creating labels, by creating things that aren't there to begin with.

Speaker 1:

You know, we are creating a very fear that is destroying us. You know, and I've always said from day one you know, if something hurts me, I don't walk away from it. I will stare it in the face, I will walk into it and I will experience it. If I cannot change it, then I will separate myself from it before, before I get to a point that it destroys me. But when I'm afraid of something, I have to understand what, why, how.

Speaker 1:

All all of those need to be answered before I can fully walk away from the situation. So, one, I know that I've covered all my bases. Two, I know that I've tried to relate to whatever it was that was bringing me down. And three, you know I, just you have to put a full commitment into the universe. You know, to experience things and if you're not willing to face things, then they're going to come find you again later on, you know. So I think you know facing your fears, studying your demons, studying the things that haunt you at night, to try to understand why these things happen in the world and in the universe. And, being honest, you know enough to the point where sometimes it sucks. You know the answers you come up with. But but if you really look at it, you know you can't trade through knowledge, understanding, for anything, because that's what gives you truth, and truth is unconditional.

Speaker 2:

Look at the times that we're living in, and you know we are amazing creators, and so rabbit. Rabbit was this brave warrior at one time and an amazing creator too, and yet, because of the fear, now drew to it the things that it feared. And I think that that's very true for us at this time. There's so much in our world, in the news and the things that we hear and see, that I mean so it's all fear driven. I think we fear facing our shadows, and yet our shadows might be our greatest source of strength and courage, and so we're able to. You know, look at, you know, like everybody, you know, the word is triggered. You know, oh, that triggers me, that triggers me. Well, take a look at why that triggers you. Why is that so fearful for you? And go a little deeper. I was thinking about.

Speaker 2:

I wish we had an opportunity to talk a little bit more with Taylor last week or the week before, when she said, oh, I cringed at my astrological thing because it was about using my discipline to make sure that all my words are connected to my soul. And I think, like for Taylor, the reason why it was so triggering is like oh, I have to look at that. Are my words connected to my soul or do I just say things you know? Like? How impeccable am I with my words? And I know the reason why I related to that so much when she said it is because I think I'm somebody who loves language. Obviously I'm an English teacher and all of that. But, however, I've had to go through the journey of there's a shadow in that, in that you can hide behind your words and you can use words in a way that you know that is not conducive for you and your life.

Speaker 2:

You can be unconscious of the words that you use. And so I had to, you know, kind of really delve into that and face that. And so I just think Rabbit is so instructive right now, because rabbit medicine, rabbit is saying burrow into a safe space to nurture yourself and release your fears until it is time again to move into the pasture, clear the prowlers who want a piece of your juicy energy. Also, I think that sometimes we work so hard, you know to, to accomplish these things, it's like, oh, I'm going to face my fear, I'm going to deal this down, I'm going to do all of this. I want to be, you know, I want to be a better person or whatever. And and sometimes what we need to do, and the most helpful thing to do, is to just rest, you know, to be quiet, and to rest and take a take a break from the fight for a little bit before you return to it, so that you can approach it with more wisdom. And